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Volume 7, Issue 1                                    University of Houston
Confessions of a sitcom-poor college student

Zach Lee
Opinion Columnist

Winter break is a time in which many college students go home to hang out with their parents and younger siblings, and even those students who remain on their own for whatever reason (holiday pay or a nagging Oedipal Complex) have extra time on their hands. That and the fact that Comedy Central and countless other channels have specials planned for the break means the household television set will be getting a little more popular. Mine won't.

Sure, there are beautiful days ahead in which to take up some wonderful outdoor activity, but it's also cold as the underside of a wet ice tray outside. Since we Houstonians aren't quite equipped to deal with that kind of betrayal from God, it's a better choice to stay inside. I'm also not exactly a health nut, so don't be surprised if I say drugs and alcohol are better wastes of time than a rigorous jogging schedule. No matter what you choose to do, though, TV isn't worth your time.

Reality shows have overstayed their welcome by three or four years, and the rest of TV is just a mute button away from being a crippled, inbred mime. Of course, there's nothing like laughing at someone else's misfortune. In the case of television, that humor has long passed however, and it's just sad. Stop putting change in his hat.

I pay for a cable Internet connection instead of cable television or even an antenna for my TV (it's for video games and movies), and I can illegally download any television show or movie I want to for the same price those other suckers pay to weed through thousands of hours of hundreds of channels of complete and utter filth for one good half-hour show a week. The movie industry hasn't caught me yet, and I doubt Comedy Central is going to come knocking with a subpoena for a couple clips of Chapelle's Show. 

Television's worthlessness is more than the copious pirated clips on the Internet -- it's the ever-present risk of addiction. At least with drugs you have the thrill of doing something illegal. With television, it's the thrill of getting involved with characters and stories that are completely fictitious so you can have something to talk about when your neighbors want to break down your intentional wall of silence. It's like a whole new world that everyone in America can enter at the same time. Books were never this bad.

Anyway, I'm not watching any stupid holiday specials.

Lee, a columnist for breaking news, 
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