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Volume 2, Issue 1                            University of Houston

McMahon gets the sledgehammer; WCW runs into a Starrcade

The Wrestling Report

Ed De La Garza

The lovely and curvaceous Stephanie McMahon betrayed her father, Vince, during the main event of the WWF's Armageddon. Easily the worst match of the night, Vince McMahon's match against Hunter Hearst Helmsley proved one thing: Vince is full of himself.

McMahon, a non-wrestler, took a beating for nearly 30 minutes, scripting the match so that he ended up looking more powerful than Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior and Mankind combined. Funny how the types of blows which had no effect on McMahon can easily lay out wrestlers such as Steve Austin.

As McMahon was about to nail HHH with a sledgehammer, young Stephanie entered the ring and acted as if she wanted to use it on HHH. 

However, HHH got the sledgehammer and used it on Vince instead. When he was about to hit him on the mat, Stephanie kneeled down next to her father, "pretending" to protect him. But wait -- she turned on her father. As the night ended, HHH and Stephanie McMahon hugged and kissed. Isn't love grand?

In other matches, the Acolytes became the No. 1 contenders for the Tag Team titles when they defeated the Dudley Boys, Edge and Christian, the Head Bangers, the Hardy Boys, the Mean Street Posse, the Godfather and Mark Henry and the team of Too Cool.

Kurt Angle defeated Steve Blackman. The lovely and naked Miss Kitty captured the Women’s Title and the Hollys defeated Viscera and Rakishi.

Val Venis captured the European Title in the three-way match against the British Bulldog (champion) and D-Lo Brown. Also, Kane defeated X-Pac in their steel cage match.

The WWF righted past wrongs by making Chyna drop the Intercontinental Title to Jericho. The New Age Outlaws retained the Tag Team Titles against the Rock and Sock Connection.

Oh, and there was a World Title match involving the Big Show and the Big Bossman. The B.S. won.

Starcrossed

Let's preview WCW's highly anticipated Starrcade, coming your way Sunday (6:30 p.m., PPV). There’s been decent build-up for the main event, and most of the wrestlers on the card have received at least some mic time. The following is the complete card and predictions.

WCW World Title -- Bret Hart (champion) vs. Bill Goldberg

There's been talk of one of these two turning heel at some point in the match. Making Goldberg a heel would serve as a bigger surprise. However, other rumors have Hart trying the "Canadian heel" gimmick in WCW. Prediction: Hart retains the title.

U.S. Title ladder match -- Scott Hall (champion) vs. Chris Benoit

Hall has been in some classic ladder matches. He even made Goldberg look halfway decent. Having him put the U.S. belt on the line against Chris Benoit, the best technical wrestler of this era, makes this match the early favorite for best of the night. Benoit looks to reclaim the strap from one half of the Outsiders. Outside interference isn't entirely out of the question. Prediction: Benoit wins the belt, leading the way for the Outsiders' long reign as Tag Team Champions.

Master of the Powerbomb match -- Kevin Nash vs. Sid Vicious 

Expect plenty of high-impact moves and high-flying maneuvers in thi -- oh, wait a minute. OK ... it'll be slow, methodical and ... slow. Prediction: Nash.

The rest of the card (as listed so far) has Jeff Jarrett facing Dustin Rhodes in a Bunkhouse Brawl match. It'll be like watching Terry Funk in the glory days. You simple-minded people ... If Sting defeats Lex Luger, Elizabeth's contract with the "Narcissist" becomes null and void. If it smells like a swerve ...

Creative Control and Curt Hennig face Harlem Heat and soul sister No. 1, Midnight. Screamin' Norman Smiley puts his Hardcore Title on the line against the fabulous Meng. Evan Karagias and Madusa battle for the highly coveted Cruiserweight Title. Diamond Dallas Page and David Flair face off in a "Crowbar on a Pole" match. It's exactly what it sounds like: first one to reach the crowbar gets to use it on his opponent.

Big Vito and Johnny the Bull "wrestle" Disco Inferno and Lash LeRoux. If Vito and the Bull win, Disco and Lash sleep with the fishes. Man, that was bad. Revolution (Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, Shane Douglas and Asya) team up against Hacksaw Jim Duggan and three mystery partners. If Hacksaw wins, Revolution has to perform janitorial duties for one month. If Revolution wins, Hacksaw has to denounce the United States. Ho! "Dr. Death" Steve Williams faces Vampiro. If Vampiro wins, he gets 10 minutes alone with "Oklahoma" Ed Ferrara. Uhh ...

Predictions: Jarrett will defeat Rhodes, Sting will get double-crossed by Elizabeth, Creative Control and Curt Hennig will beat Harlem Heat and Foxy Brown, the fabulous Meng will win the Hardcore Title, Madusa and Karagias will put on a bathroom break match, DDP will wail away on Flair with a crowbar, Disco and Lash will throw Vito and the Bull in a river, Hacksaw will denounce this great nation and Steve Williams will put a massive hurting on Vampiro.
 
 

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