by Edward Duffin

Contributing Writer

The members of the public service sorority Delta Sigma Theta hosted a basketball shootout last weekend in hopes of improving Greek unity and ethnic fellowship.

The tournament consisted of a three-point contest and a slam dunk contest judged by the radio station 102 JAMZ. Each winner was recognized with a plaque.

"I think some people stereotype fraternities and sororities," said Thasunda Brown, chairperson of the event. By hosting an event for Greeks as well as non-Greeks, the sorority hoped to dispel many of the myths associated with Greek life.

In the past, many Greek organizations have been accused of not including everyone in their events, said Brown.

She said many of the stereotypes placed on African-American Greek organizations are particularly unjust.

Brown points to the incident at the Park Jam on Sept. 3 in which a Texas Southern University student was arrested and charged with assault against a UH student.

One falsehood is "every time (African-Americans) do an event, something bad is going to happen. That's not true," said Brown.

Fraternities are also plagued by stereotypes. "Drunkenness and womanizing" are two problems characterized by Reginald Reily, a member of Omega Psi Phi.

"You can't put an umbrella over all of (the fraternities). Those days are over with," Reily said.

Jimmy Roberts, the winner of the three-point contest, believes the event accomplished its goal.

"I thought (the tournament) was well organized. I met a bunch of people," said Roberts, a freshman hotel and restaurant management major.

The Young Guns for the men's division and Lo Key for the women's division claimed first place victories at Sunday's championship games were

The sorority plans on making the tournament an annual event. Individual trophies were given to the winning teams.






by Glenn R. Wilson Jr.

Contributing Writer

<I>This is a Disney movie!<P> And it is important that you remember this because if you walk into the theater expecting anything other than a feel-good movie with appealing characters and a plot with more motivational moments than a Baptist revival you will be disappointed.

But if you accept the Disney formula and you are willing to just be entertained, then <I>Cool Runnings<P> for you.

The film is inspired by the true story of the first Jamaican Olympic Bobsled Team. Maybe you'll remember these guys from beer advertisements that used to run around the time of the Calgary Olympics. It's a story destined to be a movie and a pretty good one too.

Derice Brannock (Leon) is a sprinter with dreams of earning a spot on the Jamaican Olympic Team for the 1988 Seoul Games. His father was an Olympic gold medalist and Derice feels he is destined to do as well. However, fate plays a cruel trick on him and Derice finds himself an Olympian without a sport.

So he goes in search of John Candy who plays a down-on-his-luck former bobsledding champion just wasting away in Jamaica. In the past, Candy's character had attempted to draft Derice's father into the sport of bobsledding and had failed, so Derice offers him a second chance.

Reluctantly he agrees to coach the team, but first they need a <I>team<P>.

Derice convinces his friend Sanka Coiffe (Doug E. Doug), the best push-car driver in Jamaica, to join the team. Sanka is the local lay-out who has never really grown up. He's a great character and Doug plays him very well, but his accent needs some serious work at times.

They are soon joined by two other sprinters who also missed their chance at the '88 Games. The first is a huge man with no hair and big dreams about leaving the island behind who calls himself Yul Brynner (Rawle D. Lewis) and the second is a rich kid named Junior Bevil (Malik Yoba) who has never had the guts to stand up to his father before in his life.

You would have to be blind not to see the obvious learning experiences awaiting these guys in Calgary, but the movie is done so well that soon you forget about its predictability and just sit back and enjoy.

The direction is solid and the screenplay is funny throughout. Including some hilarious scenes, such as the team's first practices on a dirt road in Jamaica, the first taste of the cold Canadian air and first trip to a Canadian country and western bar.

If you can ignore the syrupy touches placed on by the Disney people then enjoying this movie should be no problem man.






by Robert L. Arnold

Daily Cougar Staff

With the different software programs used on campus by the academic departments and colleges, problems will occur. However, the people who fix these problems are few and far between.

There are 23 employees within the Management Information Systems Office who are split into four groups to handle all computer systems and problems on campus.

"Anybody would be a fool to say we don't need more people and resources," said Gary McCormack, director of MIS.

"Given the level of resources and the people we have, we're doing an OK job," said McCormack.

Working in tandem with the four groups within the department is the Office of Central Computing Services, comprised of 25 employees.

"We provide a 24-hour a day, seven days a week monitoring of these systems," said Bill Rowley, director of Central Computing Services.

"We receive error messages and report them to the appropriate department, as well as maintaining the physical hardware of these systems," said Rowley.

Chuck Shomper, associate vice president for information technology, said his staff is reasonable, but there are times when they cannot always get to problems as quickly as they would like.

"We have a good staff, but with any typical MIS organization you run into situations where you don't have enough people to attend to problems as quickly as needed," said Shomper.

Even with all the checks and balances set up to catch errors and correct problems, some do slip through the cracks.

For example, many students recently did not receive their financial aid checks because of a malfunction with the computer program in the Bursar's Office.

"Most of the time MIS is very responsive to problems, but there are very few people to handle all the different areas on campus," said Pat Cavanaugh, associate director for Registration and Academic Records.






by Tanya Eiserer

News Reporter

Tank cannons and heavy machine gun fire rained on the Russian Parliament building ending a 13-day rebellion Monday.

Russian television and Tass reported that after two days of bloody rioting that about 62 were killed and hundreds wounded.

Russia's President Boris Yeltsin sent in troops to end the crisis after hardliners escalated an already tense situation by capturing the mayor's office and trying to take the central television station.

With the surrender of opposition lawmakers, a violent crisis has ended. Vice President Alexander Rutskoi and Parliament

Speaker Khasbulatov ceased their stand against Yeltsin after he promised not to harm them.

Timur Kibatullin, a UH law student from Russia, said, "I think this is a kingdom of nonsense. Yeltsin dissovled our Supreme Soviet and the Constitutional Court. I can't agree with that as a lawyer and a person."

Kibatullin said that Yeltsin's steps to overthrow Parliament will weaken his position because he will be forced to increase police and military forces.

"It will be like steps to dictatorship. He has no choice," Kibatullin said. "I never supported any party in this contention. My value is my family. I don't care which party wins. There is no big difference."

Russian President Boris Yeltsin's move to eliminate the pro-Communist Parliament removes the main obstruction to economic and political reform, said Victor Mote, a UH professor who just returned from Russia a few weeks ago.

Two weeks ago, Yeltsin ordered that Parliament be dissolved and called for parliamentary elections in December. In response to Yeltsin's action, the Supreme Soviet voted to impeach Yeltsin and ordered the security forces to disobey him.

The Parliament then swore in Rutskoi as acting president. Opposition leaders swore that they would not surrender to Yeltsin. The lawmakers that holed themselves up in the Parliament building said that they were the rightful government of Russia

and that they were trying to avert an attempt by Yeltsin to create a dictatorship.

Mote, a professor of geography and member of a committee on Russian affairs, said, "In Parliament only about 33 percent were for reform, about 33 percent were against reform, and about 33 percent were in the middle. Passing reform legislation has been slow and even slower in being implemented. Under one percent of the state industry has been privatized."

Yeltsin finally realized that the situation was not working, Mote said. "The only way was to impeach Parliament and take it to the people," he said.

A poll published last week by the Russian newspaper, Isvestia, showed that of 1,187 Muscovistes polled that 64 percent blame Parliament for blocking reforms. Polls also show a general apathy among people concerning the situation. As fighting went on in front of the White House, most people continued with their normal daily routine.

Although some are apathetic about the political situation, many people realize that the door is now opened for reforms to move forward with Yeltsin at at the helm, Gerald Fielder, a Baylor University political science professor, said.

Yeltsin must now move forward with the elimination of the old communist structure or economic reforms will fail, Fielder said.

Yeltsin must limit the money supply so the country will not move into hyperinflation, Fielder said.

"The biggest problem has been that Parliament has run the central bank and has been printing enormous amounts of money," said Fielder, who lived in Russia. "Yeltsin must also continue the program of privatization."

These economic reforms are the only way to improve living conditions for the average person, Fielder said.

If Yeltsin's attempt to reform Russia fails and living standards continue to decline, then Yeltsin will be blamed, said Edward Avanyan, a UH student in business administration and a native of Russia.

Dr. Russel Bova, a political science professor at Dickinson University in Pennsylvania, said, "From an American point of view, it is clearly desirable for Yeltsin to succeed. Should he fail, everything is up for grabs."

Bova said that Yeltsin's failure could lead to the unraveling of the Russian state into smaller regional countries.

Avanyan said that the breakup of Russia is a very remote possibility since Russia was a country centuries before the USSR ever existed. A break-up of Russia would cause everybody to suffer even more and living standards would decline even further, Avanyan said.

Even though, Khasbulatov had asked the security forces to go on a national strike, Yeltsin has won crucial support from them.

"The key to Yeltsin's success is the military and security forces. Yeltsin had his ducks in a row before he began this process," Bova said.

Outside of Russia, trouble is brewing in the 88 constituent regions of the Russian Federation as anti-Yeltsin and anti-Moscow sentiments appear to be growing.

Some regional lawmakers in Siberia are threatening to withhold taxes and create an independent republic if Yeltsin does not agree to simultaneous parliamentary and presidential elections.

Yeltsin plans to hold parliamentary elections in December and presidential elections in June.

Once parliamentary elections are held, Yeltsin must get the new Parliament to pass a new constitution that will give more power to the presidency, said Chiles Patrick, a professor at the University of Geneva and member of the Association to Unite the Democracies.

Some fear Yeltsin's grab for power shows his dictatorial leanings, Patrick said. "The United States would not be strongly supporting Yeltsin if he was moving towards a dictatorship," Patrick said.






by Peter Collier and David Horowitz


The other morning TV viewers were treated to a surreal dialogue between <I>Today Show<P> host Bryant Gumbel and Hollywood's Laurence Fishburne, star of <I>Searching For Bobby Fischer<P> and other recent hits. The two men had hardly begun discussing Fishburne's latest success and his astronomical rise in the film world, when the conversation -- inevitably it seems these days -- turned into a diatribe about Hollywood's racism.

Gumbel asked Fishburne if it was any easier now "for an African-American male to get work in Hollywood." Despite his own multi-million dollar success, Fishburne couldn't say "realistically" that it was -- except for himself, "Wesley" and "Denzel." Other African-American actors still had to "do the traditional types of roles that we've had to do." Here Gumbel completed his thought: "Pimps, hustlers, gangsters," while Fishburne added "junkies, thieves, racists."

It was quite a spectacle. Here were two men making millions of dollars as African-American mega-stars, complaining about the white conspiracy to deny them success. (And, of course, it is not just Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington, but also Whoopi Goldberg and Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey and Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall and Danny Glover and Spike Lee who can call their own roles and tunes in today's Hollywood.)

Deploring the unreformable reality of American racism has become a ritual for African-American celebrities, almost like presenting an apartheid pass in order to retain their status in the community, even when their life experiences argue the exact opposite.

Who, today, would deny the fact that in the institutions of slavery and legal discrimination, America committed a great crime against African-Americans and also against itself? The question is whether the cause of a racially plural society is advanced by denying the reality of redress that has already been made, or progress that has already been achieved.

Has white Hollywood conspired, for example, as Jesse Jackson has claimed (N.Y. Times, 9/4/89) to portray African-Americans as "more violent that we are"?

The reverse, in fact, is closer to the truth: in real life African-Americans commit more than 50 percent of the violent crimes, including 55 percent of the homicides in America, but on television whites commit 90 percent of the homicides and most of the violent crimes. As Bruce Sallan, former ABC Vice President has said, "Almost every villain you see (on TV) is a WASP."

Nor is this an accident. It is the result of a calculated effort.

Last April, NBC broadcast a made-for-television movie called <I>Moment of Truth: Why My Daughter?<P> It was a true story, filmed in documentary style, of another's search for justice after her daughter was raped, tortured, and killed. But the producers made one small change in translating reality to the screen. The real rapist/killer was black. For television he was made white.

NBC made a similar switch in a "fact-based" television movie called <I>Nightmare in Columbia County<P>. When a young South Carolina girl was kidnapped and help hostage, a man decided to impersonate the kidnapper and extort money from the anguished family. The real life extortionist was black, but NBC made him white.

Does the derogatory portrayal of whites as racist oppressors have a social impact? We think it does. Anger often leads to action. We think there is a connection between socially sanctioned racism and other facts. The Los Angeles riots, for instance. Another Fishburne movie, <I>Boyz 'N the Hood<P>, featured a speech by the hero again accusing the government of conspiring to spread drugs in the ghetto. It also accused Koreans of conspiring to buy the ghetto's real estate out from under the black community. If these libels did not inflame passions in Los Angeles, we don't know what would.

The politically correct will predictably condemn the exploration of these ideas. It is unfashionable to discuss socially sanctioned forms of racism. Yet not to discuss them is to enter into another kind of conspiracy. If there is a new racism in America it is one that is based on double standards and special preferences, along with a sentimental attachment to persecution,that add up to a kind of social blindness.

Hollywood contributes to these double standards by portraying the white community as more vicious, racist and mean spirited than in fact it is. We do not think such distortion serves the interests of racial harmony or of the black community.






by Ivana Segvic

Daily Cougar Staff

They have six legs, wings–usually and are about the size of an ant. But these tiny fruit flies – <I>Drosophila<P> – are worth $312,000 in the form of a grant to Dr. Deborah Kimbrell.

Kimbrell, a UH genetics professor, was awarded the grant by the American Cancer Society. Her research employing <I>Drosophila<P> will be used by the American Cancer Society for studies related to human cancers. Studying the immune system of the flies can be provide valuable data, because it exhibits similarities to to the immune systems of other organisms, including humans, Kimbrell said.

The idea for the project originated in Stockholm while Kimbrell was attending a seminar about Insect Immunity of Silk Moths.

"(Cancer research) really captured my attention, Kimbrell said." The experiment for using the fruit fly <I>Drosophila<P> literally just rolled before my eyes," Kimbrell said.

The molecular genetics of the <I>Drosophila<P> has made it the genetic guinea pig of choice. When certain blood cell functions of the <I>Drosophila<P> are disrupted, tumors begin to form, Kimbrell said.

"The aim of our work is to isolate and characterize genes from these fruit flies that are involved in defense and formation of tumors," she said.

Kimbrell has two graduate and four undergraduate students aiding her with the research. The undergraduate students are all from Kimbrell's genetics class.

"The class is more interesting than I thought," said Kirt Martin, one of the students involved with Kimbrell's research. "It takes time. You have to know what you're looking for, (but) I like it."

Kimbrell said it was sheer luck that brought her to UH in 1991.

"I was giving a presentation at a meeting which just happened to be held in Houston," she said. "At that meeting, two professors from UH were there and they basically interviewed me, and on that trip I decided that Houston was pretty interesting after all."

Although Kimbrell is a native Texan she travelled a lot during her childhood.

"I moved around so much (as a child) that while I was an undergraduate I came to the realization that my dorm was the dwelling I had lived in the longest in my whole life," she said.

Kimbrell is a graduate of Mills College. Later she attended the University of California where she received her Ph.D. in genetics.

Kimbrell said she became interested in cancer research because cancer is such an immense problem.

In the near future, Kimbrell said she hopes to receive a major grant for one of the projects that a graduate student is working on.

She is collaborating with her colleges in Sweden in a study of Leishmaniasis, a parasitic skin disease, which is one of the diseases targeted for intensive research by the World Health Organization.

"It comes from a parasite called <I>Leishmania<P>," she said. "That parasite is carried by a sand fly. When it bites a person, and if it is infected, it injects that parasite under the skin. It's the parasite growing under the skin that causes a problem. It can self-heal in six months, but in (some cases) it can be very disfiguring, and it can make a person very ill."

Under some circumstances the disease can be fatal.







by Michelle Morgan

Contributing Writer

For the past seven seasons head volleyball coach Bill Walton has run a top-of-the-line program with an outstanding record.

The team has averaged 21 victories since Walton has taken charge, but this season the pieces aren't quite fitting together as expected.

Walton faced the task of replacing five seniors, four of whom were starters.

Some gaps are being filled by returning blocker Lily Denoon. As a sophomore last season, Denoon hit .308 and averaged 1.33 blocks per game.

Returning hitter Ashley Mulkey is another prominent player Walton is counting on to fill the gaps. She finished last season second in blocking, digging and hitting.

All-Southland Conference player Wendy Munzel transferred from Southwest Texas State to hit for the Cougars.

Hitter Carla Maul transferred from Kellogg Community College, and setter Keri Brindle transferred from Cerritos Community College. Last season both players earned second-team junior college All-American honors.

After redshirting last season, hitter Natasha Woods returned to the team. Hitter Stacey Craven is another major player. Craven received a walk-on scholarship for 1993.

With these ingredients, who would have thought anything could go wrong? So far the team's record stands at 3-11.

True, the team is young and has had trouble communicating at crucial moments, but Walton doesn't directly blame those factors.

"It's hard to say that those are the reasons," Walton said. "The blame is more specific in terms of passing, setting and spiking.

"What we need to improve first is service reception. If there's no kill, at least play to make the other team make an error in passing."

A team's chances of winning are directly correlated with killing the ball. Sadly, Houston is not averaging as many kills this season as last season at this time. The number of blocks per game is also lower this season.

The passing level of a team dictates at what level the game is played. If the team doesn't advance in passing they have no opportunity to spike.

Walton said "There are a couple of rotations we're not passing as well in." He attributes this problem to assorted distractions; some players aren't used to each other, the plays or a combination of both.

"Most of the group is not used to collegiate level play. When they have problems they turn to the older players for help, but there's not enough to go around. So, they have to turn to each other which is no help," Walton said.

He plans to combat these fundamental problems with drills. The team is working on passing in positions and rotations that seem to be problem areas.

"You have to have the right attitude. If you have the right attitude, you get improvement," Walton said.

The hitters and blockers are also working in a drill that benefits both. As the blockers are trying to improve their double block, the hitters are working on hitting around a double block. This can be frustrating if the hitter executes the job or vice versa.

Mulkey leads the team with 194 kills, and Denoon leads with 16 solo blocks and 38 block assists. Munzel is number three on the team with 112 kills.

"I think we're doing a good job. We just can't shut it down at the last minute. We lose our concentration," Denoon said.

"If we were loosing by different margins I'd say yes, the team might be getting discouraged, but they're not giving up in the third, fourth or fifth games. They're playing like it's the first game," Walton said.

"We are trying to work out the problems. After the game we go in the locker room and analyze what's going on," Woods said.

Today, the team will try to regroup and beat Texas Tech in their second home Southwest Conference match.

"We believe we are capable. The key just hasn't been hit upon to get over the hump and unlock the door to answer the problem," Walton said.






by Frank San Miguel

Daily Cougar Staff

As supporters of Guatemala's domestic insurgency prepare for their appearance at UH, Common Courage Press offers the public a rare and touching glimpse into the lives of peasants and intellectuals resolved to armed struggle against American-backed death squads.

Jennifer Harbury's <I>Bridge of Courage<P> is collection of nearly verbatim accounts of guerillas from the Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union (Unidad Revolucionaria Nacional Guatemalteca), the country's foremost guerrilla group. Formed in 1982, the URNG is an umbrella for four groups: the Guerrilla Army of the Poor, the Revolutionary Armed Front, the Guatemalan Workers Party and the Revolutionary Organization of the People in Arms. <I>Bridge of Courage<P> speaks of the lives of these Guatemalans in their own words.

<I>Bridge of Courage<P> opens with a superb introduction from outspoken intellectual Noam Chomsky on the history of Guatemala as a never ending death-waltz with American colonialism and repression. He recites every fact with chilling meticulousness as only Chomsky does it. From Jorge Ubico to CIA-sponsored coups and American-trained despots, Guatemala is painted as the banana republic at once coveted by large corporations and money-hungry developers.

What gives this agonizing tale of pain and murder a sense of hope are the stories of Guatemalan women and men committed to the ideal of self-determination and peace. They are united in their belief that only by armed resistance to oppression will oppression end.

Citing concerns for their safety (some of the people she interviewed are still alive and fighting), Harbury uses these first-name-only accounts to bring the statistics of state-sponsored murder tearfully to life. Every revolutionary has lost sisters, brothers, lovers or friends to death squads or the police-backed civil patrols called rondas. Many stories are sad, some are funny, yet all share a common thread of despair.

Separated into three sections, <I>Bridge of Courage<P> opens with "Heeding the Call to Action," the Guatemalan people's stories of why they chose to become guerrillas. Many were driven by the memory of family members who struggled for justice and were killed during state-sponsored violence. "He told me that women, too, should use their lives productively, to serve our people, to work for a better future for our children," recounts Lara about her slain brother. "He told me that our people are not stupid, that our language is not backward, that we are descendants of the Maya, who had a great civilization,"

"Life in the Revolution" is an often touching, sometimes harrowing wrap-up of the struggle in the mountains of Guatemala of a peasant battalion. "Sisifu, the Commando Squirrel" is a lighthearted look at life in the camp, which gives a very human quality to the face of war, especially that of the 'faceless' Guatemalan people. Domingo's story tells how intellectual urban guerrillas learn the real meaning of equality out in the hills.

The last section, "The New Generation," depicts Guatemalan life and how it was inevitably transformed by the death squad. The lives of guerrillas are related in stark detail: Dora laments human frailty; Diego chats about the URNG's radio program, La Voz Popular

<I>Bridge of Courage<P> is one of the best books available about the lives of members of the URNG. The stories become even more poignant when told by the guerrillas themselves.

Members of URNG's La Voz Popular will speak at UH on Oct. 28 at 6:30 p.m. in the Regents Room of the University Center. The event is sponsored by the Gray Panther Task Force.

<I>Bridge of Courage<P> is available from Common Courage Press, P. O. Box 702, Monroe, ME 04951.







by Jason Jaeger

News Reporter

This fall's television season is raising eyebrows with a new, controversial ABC show. <P>NYPD Blue<P> features cops and robbers, explicit language and nudity.

ABC is experimenting with the program to see if it will work, said Dr. Garth Jowett, a media expert and a professor in the School of Communication. He said the network is pushing its limits to try to keep up with cable.

"They really are serious about trying to recapture their lost audience," he said.

ABC released information on the program's content prior to the show's premier.

"(ABC) wanted to put their finger in the wind," Jowett said. But he added that even though some groups objected to the show's content, there was enough support that the network decided to air the program.

Sociology Professor Bill Simon said ABC would not have aired the show if advertisers had backed out, adding that it all boils down to money.

"The religious right is not the mainstream, it's a backwater," Simon said. "They're not really talking about dirty words, or an occasional flash of tit."

Some people are upset because things around them are changing, but they like things the way they were, he said.

In the short term the people protesting the show may win, he said.

However, Jowett said ABC will put up with complaining groups as long as it can get a large enough audience. Networks have been criticized for succumbing to a minimum number of complaints, he said.

"The networks are taking a stand and saying that they are not going to be bullied by some of these groups," Jowett said.

"One of the best ways to get an audience for a show, is to say 'Banned in Boston'," Jowett said. Protestors will just give the show more publicity, he said.

Channel 13, the local ABC affiliate, has received more than 1,000 calls in the past couple of weeks, said Jim Masucci, president and general manager. "Most have been about nudity," he said.

The station has also been picketed at least two times by the American Family Association, Masucci said.

"I personally think (the show) is an experiment," Masucci said. "I think there is no doubt that the networks have lost a lot of steam to cable."

"I was not offended by nudity or language," said Neil Zozobrado, a senior political science major.

Zozobrado said he viewed the program initially to see what the hype was about and make a decision on his own. "It's drama, it's real and it pushes the boundaries set up by society, " he said.

"It portrays reality," said Tonya Boyman, a junior biology major.

She said although it was shocking to see nudity on network television, she was not offended.

"My mom's not going to watch it," said Joel Saldana, senior, RTV major. Saldana said the show was equal to an R-rated movie.

Jowett, who called the program "very real," said he liked the first two episodes.

At times the nudity (male and female) was gratuitous but it fit into the plot, plus the language matched the characters and their situations, he said.

Simon said the nudity in the show is incidental and the language wasn't uncommon.

"(For example) fuck and asshole are words that have become part of everyday American speech," Simon said.

"By and large, I think a generation is coming of age," Simon said. "I think it's my generation, the Hugh Hefner generation."

"Whether or not this is the wave of the future depends to a large extent on how much of a public outcry there is," Jowett said.

NYPD Blue airs Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. on Channel 13.






by John Pope

Greetings to those most astute subscribers of current business issues who neither have money, interest nor time to delve into small matters relative to your daily routine.

In the coming weeks, yours truly, a.k.a. Melcher Man, will provide, provoke, and project so you, the most discerning reader, will be informed and ignited toward meaningful topics of the day. So as the umpire says, "Let's play ball!"

Try to recall day one of Economics 101. Most likely, it went something like this: "Students need to study economics because human beings, by nature, are selfish beasts." Now fast forward to contemporary terms such as profit maximization, shareholder wealth and revenues.

Naturally, academia prides itself on such topics in order to quench the selfish desires of the firm. However, much less emphasis is placed on that "other" selfish beast -- the customer. Are we to assume customers buy because Company X has the finest accountants, managers and marketing money can afford?

A study revealed that 80 percent of consumers don't buy because of perceived indifferences toward companies. We all know the buzzwords value, quality, and service after the sale, but from whose perspective are they defined? C.E.O.'s, managers, professors and students are wise to follow the commandments of customer satisfaction:

Thou shalt listen to the customer.

Thou shalt understand the customer.

Thou shalt know the customer.

Thou shalt remember the customer.

Marketing philosophy is based on usage of the four P's (product, price, place, promotion), but let us not forget the fifth and most important "P" -- people.

All too often, businesses treat the customer as a telephone digit instead of living, breathing flesh.

Today's customers are more intelligent and discerning. They won't tolerate spending hard earned income on anything that doesn't exceed their expectations. Therein lies the key to competitive advantage. If customers "need" it tomorrow, deliver it today. If they "want" two widgets, provide three. After all, memory is a primary determinant of future action.

Some business definitions:

1. <B>Beta<P> Explosive particles attached to those who hold Ultra Airline stock.

2. <B>Exchange Rate<P> Ability to bribe in foreign languages.

3. <B>T Bill<P> A 30-year ransom note held by the Mrs. Clinton.

4. <B>Bond<P> A financial instrument that earns .007 percent return.

5. <B>Portfolio<P> An Italian who has lost his fortune at the N.Y.S.E.

6. <B>Risk<P> See John Jenkins.

Pope is a junior business major.



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