This poor, forgotten hero just wants a little love

Ed De La Garza

Dear Juice,

I am your number one fan. I caught your interview on ESPN. I hope the ridiculous accusations being thrown at you will finally come to an end. You were found not guilty in court, and that's good enough for me. The idea that you, Orenthal James Simpson, Heisman Trophy winner, unappreciated actor and scratch golfer is be guilty of murder is preposterous.

I was pleased with the way you handled the spousal abuse question, although I was hoping you could have given that interviewer one good smack. Who among us hasn't beaten our wives or girlfriends when they get out of line? The good Lord made men bigger for a reason: to push women around.

As to comparing yourself to Job, Moses and Jesus Christ, all I can say is Amen, brother! In a sense you parted defensive lines in much the same way as Moses parted the Red Sea. You have been crucified by the media, and you, too, will rise again.

Your reference to Hiroshima was quite eloquent. That bomb was dropped to make the free world safe. Who cares if it cost a couple of lives? Where is Japan anyway?

I'm glad you took a swipe at Faye Resnik. Who the hell even heard of her before the trial? If you ask me, I think she had something to do with Nicole's death. Isn't it convenient that she started making a name for herself by attacking you?

And what was Ron Goldman doing there, anyway? Faye Resnik, Ron Goldman, cocaine, cocaine dealers, Colombian drug cartel, U.S./ South American relations, the government, Bill Clinton, Paula Jones, white trash and then back to Faye Resnik. The circle is complete.

One thing I want to know is why is Fred Goldman and the rest of the Goldman family always crying? His hatred for you doesn't make any sense. When you find the real killer, maybe he can quit his crazy crusade against you and get a real job.

How dare they assault you? You were in jail for a crime you didn't commit. They should be saying "Thank you, O. J." They managed to cheat you out of millions of dollars and a trophy they didn't earn. If Ron Goldman hadn't been where he wasn't supposed to be, he might still be alive. I say might, because as you said, he was involved with the Colombian drug cartel.

If anything, you should be filing a wrongful death suit on the Goldman family. It's because of Ron that Nicole's dead and your children are without a mother.

Hopefully, your comeback can continue uninterrupted. I really enjoyed your role in the Naked Gun movies. It's safe to say you carried those hilarious films. I hope people will begin to recognize your dramatic talents as well. I saw Capricorn One, and Denzel Washington has nothing on you.

I'm your number one fan. I know you'll find the killers and stay on the comeback trail. I know you'll get your just reward. Everybody does.

Your pal and only true friend,

O.J. Simpson

De La Garza, a junior political science major, is taking requests at edelagar@bayou.uh.edu

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