Ed presents the Ultimate WCW/WWF PPV Extravaganza

The Wrestling Report

Ed De La Garza

If your favorite wrestler loses a big match, chances are that since he did the job once, he'll probably win the rematch.

The Astros don't get to come back next series. When the Rockets lost to Utah two years ago on Stockton's three, they didn't get a rematch until the following year, and they lost that series too. When the Oilers ... ahh, screw the Oilers.

My point is that, to be a true fan, you have to invest a lot emotionally, and the letdown is a lot worse than in wrestling.

I'm definitely going to need reader participation this week. Have you ever wished WCW and the WWF could put on a joint, one-time-only pay-per-view, much like the AL vs. the NL, the AFC vs. the NFC, etc.?

I now present my Ultimate WCW/WWF PPV Extravaganza.

You'll have a chance to vote, give comments regarding angles, build-up, and outcomes from now until Dec. 9. It's a ways off, but a ppv this big needs time to develop. I'll be throwing out angles from here until the results are printed. This card is not subject to change.

Opening Tag Team Match:

Val Venis/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Booker T.

The Kliq Wannabe Match:

New Age Outlaws vs. Konnan/Lex Luger

Promoter vs. Promoter:

Vince McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

The Kick the Crap Out of DDP Match:

Kane vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Battle of the Hardcores:

Mick Foley vs. Raven

The No Heat Match:

Ken Shamrock vs. Sting

The Kick the Crap Out of Hogan Match:

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Battle of the Mat Technicians:

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ric Flair

The Retribution Match:

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

The Future of the Promotion Match:

Rocky Maivia vs. Chris Jericho

Kliq vs. Kliq (WCW/WWF Tag Team Title Bout):

Hunter Hearst Helmsley/X-Pac vs. Scott Hall/Kevin Nash

Main Event (WCW/WWF World Title Bout):

Steve Austin vs. Bill Goldberg

Remember, this is an interactive column, so send me your comments, either through e-mail or to The Daily Cougar.

The first angles are: Chris Jericho appears on Raw, telling the people that since he's already made Nitro "Monday Night Jericho," Raw will now be called "Raw is Jericho." The new theme music will be supplied by Loverboy. He thanks the people for coming to see wrestling's true "People's Champ," the hard-rockin' daddio, Jericho.

Rocky then comes out and tells Jericho, "I don't know what your jabroné ass is doing here, but if you don't leave now, I'm gonna lay the smack down on your Canadian ass."

Jeff Jarrett comes running out during a Mongo match on Thunder, and whacks the Horseman with a guitar. He takes a microphone and tells the crowd that when he was in the Horsemen, Mongo couldn't lace his boots. He does a modified Flair strut and starts to leave the ring.

Ric Flair, waiting for him outside, greets him with a "Whoo!" He proceeds to tell him that if he thinks he can outwrestle a Horseman, maybe he better challenge "the man." He grabs Jarrett, throwing him against the railing, and gives him multiple knife-edge chops.

Monday night musings

Nitro: The Latino World Order? Oh yeah, with a line-up like Damian and Hector Garza, it's sure to catch on. The best match of the night, for the third straight week was a Kidman match, this time vs. Psychosis. Mike Tenay followed the Wolfpac throughout the night as they went bar-hopping, looking for Scott Hall.

Best moment: Ric Flair's son Reid came out with Arn Anderson to confront Bischoff. The 10-year old Flair then told him he was there to take care of his dad's "light work." Reid then took Bischoff down on the mat twice. Forget Ric Flair vs. Bischoff at Starrcade, I want to see Reid get into it.

Raw: X-Pac dropped the European belt to D-Lo Brown. Somewhere in Denmark, a family is rejoicing because once again, D-Lo is the "champion of Europe." The Headbangers did viewers a great service as they kicked the tar out of the Insane Clown Posse, proving that The Beastie Boys are the only white guys who can rap.

Best moments: It's a tie. Mankind visited McMahon in the hospital to cheer him up with a sock puppet and balloon animals. Steve Austin, disguised as a doctor wearing a surgical mask, attacked the boss, beating his head with a metal bed pan.

Letter of the Week

Melodi Graham writes:

I have to agree that Hogan is ruining WCW. It is all I can do not to be sick when Hogan feels the need to drone on and on about nothing.

Last week, Hogan was on Wall Street to help promote credit cards featuring WCW wrestlers. The market then proceeded to lose 200 points for two straight days. So Hogan's not only ruining WCW, but he's also the cancer threatening to bring down the global market as well.

Last item: The Great South Wrestling Association makes its debut at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at Hofheinz Pavilion. This isn't to be taken lightly, as it's Houston's first foray into pro-wrestling since the days of Paul Bosch and the Coliseum. Tickets, available through Ticketmaster, are $14 to $17 ringside and $8 upstairs.

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