Wednesday, January 20, 1999
Houston, Texas
Volume 64, Issue 75

Lady Coogs' Road Woes Continue

Top 25 Notebook

Helton Revamps Staff

About the Cougar

Conspiracies abound in latest report

The Wrestling Report

Ed De La Garza

Well, well, well. It seems that WCW's deal with NBC was never finalized. So the very reason that Hogan was brought back and then handed the belt is off. Now isn't that interesting?

Let's all imagine Eric Bischoff trying to re-sign his stars based solely on the exposure that would have been gained from a semi-regular national show. Surely this would be Disco Inferno's ticket to stardom. Perhaps Norman Smiley would guest star as an orderly on E.R. I think we can all imagine fame and fortune for Barry Horowitz as a new addition to Friends. Uhh ... psych?

Once the NBA settled their labor dispute, WCW was deemed unimportant. The deal is off and now Ted Turner's company is left with Hogan as champion, walking around dressed like a 70-year-old street thug. Yes, the Wolfpac is definitely "too sweet," especially now that they have a senior/jobber division.

Souled Out flames out

Let me get this straight. You're asking me to pay 30 dollars to see Norman Smiley "wiggle"? Were the opening matches deemed just way too important to be shown on either TBS' Saturday show or WCW Worldwide? Why don't you just throw in Jerry Flynn and Ernest Miller? Silver King is always available. What about other pay-per-view-worthy wrestlers such as Renegade and Vincent? Now that would be a stellar line-up. Needless to say I didn't find the card that exciting.

David Flair pinned Barry Windham in a match which proved the younger Flair has neither the Nature Boy's skills nor charisma. It pays to be the acting president's son. Other matches included Jericho beating Saturn, forcing him to wear a dress for 90 days. This was a surprise, considering Jericho's contract status. Apparently, Saturn wanted to do the job because he felt being made to wear a dress would draw attention to himself, thus getting him over with the fans. Go figure.

The highlight match was the Goldberg/Hall ladder match, which Goldberg won. Since Hall made ladder matches what they are, who do you think carried this? It's just too bad this match had to be tarnished by the rest of the card. Two bad pay-per-views in a row and no end in sight. ...

Vince vs. Stone Cold

The single biggest feud in the history of this "sport" is finally leading to a real fight at the WWF's Royal Rumble (Sunday, 7 p.m., ppv). Stone Cold Steve Austin will be the first to enter for this 30-man, over-the-top-rope rumble match, followed by Vince McMahon. Having Vince thrown out early wouldn't be giving the fans what they want, so I see him as one of the last five in the ring. Stone Cold should win this, which would lead to Austin vs. Maivia at Wrestlemania XV.

Mankind puts his world title on the line against The Rock in an "I quit" match. The first to make the other say the magic words wins the belt. The WWF really wants the above main event for Wrestlemania, so I see Mick Foley's long-deserved title reign coming to end this Sunday.

Speaking of Rumbles ...

The Houston Chronicle's Ken Hoffman made his wrestling debut at Texas All-Star Wrestling's "Rumble in Humble". Held at the world famous Humble Bingo Hall, across the street from MacFrugal's, this event was rasslin' at its best. Hoffman, entering the ring to the strains of the Beatles' "Help," used the tried and true Duck and Cover wrestling technique. He sold beautifully.

His opponent, the Jester, entered the ring with a newspaper and proceeded to wipe his butt with it. This was either an allusion to Humble's periodical or the lack of sanitary paper products in his home country (England, by way of Jasper, Texas). It was a good show, with more than enough opportunities to make fun of it.

Last items: Shawn Michaels' back surgery was a success, but it looks like the years of selling out for the mat have forced him to retire. He will return to the WWF, but don't look for it to be an active role, unless it's extremely limited. There's talk that when Sting returns, he'll either return with his pre-nWo look or as the Crow-Sting to feud with the Wolfpac.

Gee, where have I heard this before? Maybe he will hang out in the rafters for a year and never say a word!

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