|Monday, February 23, 1999||
Volume 64, Issue 99
|We're all a part
of the cosmic ballet
The sun rises and the sun sets. Birds migrate with an eerie regulation with the changing of the seasons. Trees die in the winter and are reborn in the spring. If there is one truth to this life that I have learned, it is that all things move in cycles. Not motorcycles or spin cycles -- natural cycles.
The business cycle seems to be on the downturn lately. Companies experienced record profits and growth these last few years, but this, like all things, was never intended to last forever. It started in the Eastern Markets with a record unemployment in Japan and a continuous decline in the GNP of several Eastern countries. Now it's our turn.
If you watch the news, you find that several companies are laying off er... "downsizing." We had a "Great Depression" once, followed by several downturns of the economic cycle. The most recent depression er... "recession" was during the Bush administration when times were very bad for many workers.
During the Clinton administration, we began the cycle anew and witnessed continued growth of the national economy. America thought Clinton was responsible for this. He wasn't, but he was re-elected.
It would seem that our economy has peaked, and a downturn is inevitable. The severity of the next "drop" is variable and very unpredictable, but it's all just part of the cycle. I'd suggest getting a job with the government. When was the last time you heard "The FBI is downsizing, and they let go of 1,000 field agents today?"
I remember waking up Saturday morning and sitting on my father's bed while he prepared his uniform for work. We would watch wrestling together. It got goofy, and we both stopped watching as well as most of America. Now in the last few years it has made a comeback and is more popular than ever. Everyone knows it's fake this time.
The singing group everyone loves to hate, New Edit - er, New Kids on the - er, The Backstreet Boys, is another example of cycles in entertainment. The "Boy Group of Five" (it's always five for some reason), makes a comeback every few years. Marilyn Manson? I liked him when he was Alice Cooper.
Children's television seems to follow a cycle. "The Power Rangers" are nothing more than a re-incarnation of "Voltron: Defender of the Universe", just as the "Rugrats" are the "Muppet Babies" minus the cute factor. I'm waiting for the "Teletubbies" to get a Raccoon Kung-Fu instructor, use archaic weapons, form some type of elite fighting force, start eating fast food, drive around in a souped up Low-Rider, and fight minions of an unfathomable evil.
If you take geology at this fine institution, your professor will instruct you on the nature of 100-year floods, earthquakes, and our favorite natural phenomenon El Niño. The forces of nature punch a time card and are held to a loose schedule of wanton destruction.
Who are we to question why? Some things just are, and we must accept that. Where does this leave us? I'm not sure, but let's hope Bruce Willis will be there to save the day.
Some people do take the Cycle of Life a bit to seriously, as we've seen with the Y2K bug. Ma and Pa Kettle are headed for the hills with the family packing peaches, shotgun shells, and the family pig for the chaos that will come in the wake of the year 2000.
Where does this leave us? I've just completed my training camp for my army of spear-wielding, blue-assed Baboons that will help me conquer the world when civilization as we know it dies. The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers. If we lose, my baboons and I will choke their rivers with our dead.
Well, unlike Simba in the Lion King, we don't have some fruit-cracking, cane-wielding baboon who talks like Benson on Crystal Meth to tell us how things are -- that's why I'm here. We are part of a cosmic ballet. Though the seasons may come and go, the stock market rise and fall, mountains grow and crumble... everything is and always will be.
Trevino, a MIS-business major,
can be reached at email@example.com.