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Wednesday, September 29, 1999
Houston, Texas
Volume 65, Issue 27

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No relationships for the wonderful?

Norman Theriault

These days, who isn't mildly obsessed with finding Mr. or Ms. Right? Unless you're lucky enough to have found that special someone so early in life, I'm sure most of the readers out there have been on that quest for most of their dating life.

I bring up the subject because it seems that it's harder and harder to find someone who we can relate to, who is intelligent, who isn't into playing games, who is attractive and who is willing to give a being with us a chance.

It's not just a personal problem either -- two threads recently posted on an online bulletin board I frequent were called "Young, hot straight men: Do they exist anymore?" and "Emotionally available gay men: Do they exist anymore?"

I hear you, my friends. What self-respecting woman or gay man hasn't asked this of him- or herself in the past few months? All of you happily coupled people out there need not respond. I'm sure your relationships are wonderful, but that doesn't make me all that happy for you -- just resentful.

And why is it that being in a relationship is so important to most of us anyway? I've heard all the arguments. We don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. We should be happy with who we are and be thankful for our friends.

Of course those things are true. But why do I still feel slighted? Why couldn't I have something to show for 18 years worth of longing to be part of something recognizably loving and caring?

Before this turns into a public-service announcement or a glorified personal ad, let me say that I am perfectly happy with who I am, and have no doubts that I am a good and deserving person. But damn! Where are all the others who are supposed to see this wonderful person?

So I'm heading back to the Dent (the bulletin board with the aforementioned discussion threads) to see what wisdom these posts can provide for me, an ailing soul. With 140 replies between the two, there should be some insight within the conversation, right?

First posts from the fray are indeed telling.

Lula says: "The (straight guys) I do meet are a.) oog-ley, b.) bi-curious, c.) only into strippers or farm animals ... Where are (the young, hot straight men)? How are we breeders supposed to create more cute gay boys if y'all don't quit tempting them over to your side?"

Revboi says: "I must say, I'm really tired of gay men these days ... This is why: 1.) They're "not ready" for a relationship, 2.) they're whores, 3.) they're always looking for something "better," and 4.) if they are emotionally capable of having a serious relationship, they're old enough to be my father."

My God! If men don't suck!

Not that women are perfect, but then again, I never seem to hear about women having serious commitment issues. Not like men do, anyway.

I just want to find someone who's not like what was just described above. Intelligence and looks are also a plus. I swear, if the rest of the world were this picky, the human race would've died out long ago.

And yet, it seems like there are too many people complaining about all of the guys out there. If we're all looking for something better, then why not "find" each other? I'll tell you why: Everyone worth being with lives thousands of miles away. If only the Internet hadn't made relationship anxiety worse!

But there's hope, of course. At least the people who deserve that special someone the most know they deserve it. At least me and my fellow Denters have a place to share our feelings.

Perhaps the rest of the world (and all those potential suitors) will catch on to the gold mine that lies in the emotionally underappreciated. Perhaps not. But until then, I'll continue chatting with those kindred spirits.
 

Theriault, a sophomore English major,
can be reached at phdynamic@iname.com.
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