|Tuesday, October 26, 1999||
Volume 65, Issue 46
||Women should take
I'm glad to be a member of the superior sex. If it wasn't for what I have between my legs, I'd be half the man I am today.
Although the major media outlets would like to persuade their audiences otherwise, the latter half of the 1990s has seen no major increase in the rights of women.
Thank God! If women were meant to be in control, Martha Stewart would be the president of the free world.
All I am trying to say is that only men are heads of households, only men are powerful CEOs and only men deserve to hold these justifiable, honorable positions.
I mean, really, when was the last time you saw a female city council member, or even a police officer for that matter.
It's true! They don't exist! So where are our submissive women? In the kitchen cooking me steak, you fool!
The truth is I'm a horrible liar. And I'm not serious at all.
Women have the vote. Women have jobs I can only dream for. There are more women in my statistics class (which I'm failing) than men.
Popular female politicians may have a strong chance at the presidency of the United States in the upcoming decades.
So why can't I get a date? As busy as I am right now, I don't have time for the club scene. I don't want to go anywhere near the bar scene. I don't even have time to be desperate. OK, so this column has been mostly lies.
Why can't more women ask out men? Who cares what their mothers might have told them -- I'm quite sure college females know what they want in the opposite sex -- why can't they pursue it?
People who don't take control of their destiny shouldn't whine about what they "can't" and don't have. If I've only learned one thing in this journey called life, it's that nothing is impossible.
People who take charge and go after what they want are more likely to get it. It's in the statistics. Ladies, if you have a crush on someone, and you don't pursue that person, your chances of getting him are slim to none.
Males usually don't have a clue when females are coming on to them. This has to do with their inherited chemical and biological structure.
Many scientists know for a fact that the Y chromosome (which is only found in males) carries many genes that affect the young college male's brain in relation to the world of dating.
Stated simply: when it comes to love, males are lost -- stumbling down a dark alley without a flashlight.
Genetics aren't the only thing men don't have going for them in relation to dating. For hundreds of years women have been negatively stereotyped. Many males these days don't know what's proper or what's not in the dating field of study.
Males have been given hundreds of years worth of bad advice, sometimes from their own ancestors. They shouldn't be the ones asking members of the opposite sex out on dates, in many cases.
Since it is so popular in this day and age for women to be in control, I don't see why more college women aren't attempting to change their current state of loneliness. Asking a male out is not that hard.
When a male asks a female out, he usually has no idea where or what to do on the first date. More than likely, anywhere he might take her will be the "wrong answer" in her mind.
It seems that there is more error involved when a male is in control of the dating situation.
Males usually seem to be more happy-go-lucky. They're quite humbled to be out with that special person -- wherever she chooses to eat (outside of salad bars).
I am a strong believer that if you can bake a cake, you can make a bomb.
If society sees nothing wrong with women in the workplace and in other
places, like the armed forces, then women should feel comfortable with
deciding who they really want to spend their Saturday nights with.
Moeller, a sophomore communications major,
can be reached at email@example.com.