Wednesday, November 17, 1999
Houston, Texas
Volume 65, Issue 62

Cougar Comics Online
Dao on racism

Cardenas on sports

Staff Editorial

Editorial Cartoon


About the Cougar

Society lives by the words of a simple song

By Xavier Trevino

If you managed to flip through the majority of the Houston radio stations or gazed upon the new religion MTV has become, you might have heard of a band called Limp Bizkit -- in particular, a little ballad the nihilistic band concocted known as "Nookie."

A little more than 20 times in the ode to the act of reproduction, the chorus, "I did it all for the Nookie," finds its way into your mind and sticks there like a splinter you can't get rid of.

Strange as it may seem, the song has a great truth to it. We "do it all for the nookie." Limp Bizkit has put a bouncing beat and a catchy hook to what the world's greatest psychologist have been debating for years. Why do we, as members of the human rat race, do what we do? The nookie, of course.

Just the other day I found myself in the Mecca of 20th-century living: the mall. My mission was to procure some toilet water, smell good, "yes" cologne. Why would I purchase such an item? For the nookie.

No woman wants a man who smells like cabbage. Though there may be some freaky woman out there who thoroughly enjoys the scent of cabbage, the rest of us in the real world like "pleasing scents." But I digress.

Why do I buy khakis? Nice shoes? Wear the latest styles? The nookie, of course. Everything in your life revolves around sex.

Only those who have taken vows of celibacy -- Buddhist monks, catholic priests, and ugly people with no choice -- don't do it all for the nookie.

The rest of us are out on the battlefield like a bunch of peacocks, flaunting our various feathers in order to attract mates. In some cases, two at the same time -- results vary with your plumage.

Some of you may disagree with my thesis. Some of you may be angered by it. Well stop lying to yourself, pervert -- you, too, do it all for the nookie. You just don't realize it.

If we didn't do it all for the nookie, we'd be walking around with unkempt hair, bearskin clothing and teeth that would make the rednecks in Deliverance squirm. And we'd smell like week-old cabbage.

Why did God create woman? Why do we always look in the mirror before we leave our rooms? Why does Mariah Carey walk around half-naked? Yes, my children, the ever-elusive nookie.

Why did a man first ascend Mount Everest? Because a woman told him it would be "cool" if someone did. That brave man's whole climb was for the nookie.

Don't get me wrong -- some women do it for the nookie as well.

You don't wear tank tops and short shorts because it looks "cute." You do it to make men drool and other women jealous. Why are they jealous? Because the men want the nookie from you, not them.

Yes, when we break it down, the basic and primal urge to procreate dictates much of our daily behavior and social norms. Sex in itself is eternally ingrained in our culture.

Who put it there? The media? The government? No, my friends, it was us and our urge for it.

What you must realize is that a lot of the things you do and say are nothing more than spreading your plumage in hopes of attracting a mate -- or, more importantly, making someone want the nookie from you. He or she who holds the nookie has the power.

Trevino, a junior MIS major,
can be reached at ResplendentCrane@AOL.com.

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