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Wednesday, November 17, 1999
Houston, Texas
Volume 65, Issue 62

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Movie Review: The Messenger
 

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Ed-stravaganza II card revealed; Mayhem erupts

The Wrestling Report

By Ed De La Garza

Ed-stravaganza II comes your way Dec. 1, and yes, the matches have been made. Vampiro vs. Gangrel was scrapped due to lack of reader interest. In its place, I added a series of Daily Cougar grudge matches.

Rob Van Dam, Raven and the Sandman (ECW) vs. Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Shane Douglas (WCW) vs. Mick Foley, Al Snow and Stevie Richards (WWF)

The nine participants gather for an Extreme Championship Wrestling reunion. They begin to talk about their experiences in the big companies. RVD asks Douglas if it was really worth turning his back on ECW just before it inked its deal with The Nashville Network. Douglas asks RVD if he's been "smoking," prompting Foley to interject that Douglas didn't sell out. He was just stupid to pick WCW over the WWF. Mayhem ensues. The powers that be intervene. And we have a match.

Diamond Dallas Page (WCW) vs. The Big Show (WWF)

While relaxing by watching television in his modest home, the Big Show comes across a taped Thunder on TBS. Page happens to be in the ring. He says "Bang!" a lot. He won't shut up, no matter how hard the crowd boos. The Big Show becomes enraged and, on the following Nitro, storms the ring during another Page interview. The crowd pops. Show chokeslams Page. Mayhem erupts and we have another match.

Sting (WCW) vs. Edge (WWF)

While stalking the catwalks of your neighborhood arena, Sting notices Edge lurking in the shadows. Sting informs Edge that this is his brooding area and he better move. Edge gives Sting a wicked smile. Sting feels funny. And we have another match.

The Cougar grudge matches

Parsons vs. Cassidy -- Students' Association President Tom Cassidy asks to be placed on the card. He suggests wrestling Jim Parsons, Cougar news editor, because he doesn't like his portrayal in "Ruth the Pig." Parsons is offended and readily agrees to a match.

McKim vs. Consolacion -- Jason Consolacion, Cougar sports editor, asks Jake McKim, entertainment editor, if he needs more space (for stories). McKim responds by saying "Yeah, you've been smothering me lately. It's like ... give me space to breathe ... or something." Consolacion has enough of McKim's literal jokes and challenges him to a grudge match.

De La Garza vs. Melançon -- No angle needed.

Warren vs. the copy editors -- Soft-spoken Audrey Warren, Cougar senior staff writer, notices that her first name has been changed to "Andrew" in one of her bylines. Warren becomes enraged and challenges the copy editors (John Harp, Crystal Doucette and Mike Smith). Harp responds by saying "wee."

The Ultimate PPV -- Ed-stravaganza II

Opening Grudge Match:

Jake McKim (entertainment editor) vs. Jason Caesar Consolacion (sports editor) with Brandon H. Franks (opinion editor) as special guest referee.

Battle to end Diamond Dallas Page's career:

Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Big Show

Students' Association Tag Team Title Bout:

Harlem Heat (WCW) vs. the Acolytes (WWF)

'Kill Hogan now' match:

Hulk Hogan (WCW) vs. the Undertaker and Kane (WWF)

Battle of the brooding enigmatic wrestlers:

Sting (WCW) vs. Edge (WWF)

Grudge Match No. 2:

Jim Parsons (news editor) vs. Tom Cassidy (SA president)

Loser grows hair match:

Bill Goldberg (WCW) vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (WWF)

Battle of the federations:

Rob Van Dam, Raven and the Sandman (ECW) vs. Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Shane Douglas (WCW) vs. Mick Foley, Al Snow and Stevie Richards (WWF)

Battle of the in-laws:

Bret "the Hitman" Hart (WCW) vs. the British Bulldog (WWF)

Grudge Match No. 3:

Ed De La Garza (editor in chief) vs. Melanie Melançon (online editor)

Loser gives the winner his catch phrases:

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair (WCW) vs. Rocky Maivia (WWF)

Canadian Title Bout:

Chris Benoit (WCW) vs. Chris Jericho (WWF)

Kliq vs. Kliq II:

Kevin Nash and Scott Hall (WCW) vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley and X-Pac (WWF)

Main Event -- Closing Grudge Match:

Audrey Warren (senior staff writer) vs. Crystal Doucette, John Harp and Mike Smith (copy editors)

This card will also be in the Nov. 24 edition of The Wrestling Report, along with any last-minute changes deemed necessary by the booker (me). There's no real point to sending in suggestions for the third grudge match. I'm in it, and I'm not jobbing.

Mayhem in Canada

WCW presents Mayhem, live from Toronto (Sunday, 7 p.m., PPV). The event will be highlighted by the "Final Four" of the World Title tournament. It has the potential to be infinitely better than the WWF's Survivor Series.

Both of the semifinal matches include four of wrestling's hardest and best workers. Sting wrestles Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett wrestles Chris Benoit.

Prediction: Mayhem is in Canada. Hart and Benoit are Canadian. Dare we think we'll see what could be one of the greatest World Title bouts in wrestling history? Hart and Benoit both advance ... with Hart winning the WCW World Championship.

Goldberg will meet Sid Vicious in an "I Quit" match. The loser does not leave the company. The loser is the first wrestler to say "I quit." Don't look for this to be a technical wrestling match. Prediction: Goldberg.

Buff Bagwell and Curt Hennig will wrestle each other in a "Hang it up" match. This means the loser has to look for work in another line of business. Prediction: Bagwell.

Norman Smiley and Brian Knobs battle it out for the right to be called King of Hardcore. Unless one of these wrestlers is suddenly replaced by Mick Foley, I don't really care about this match. Prediction: Knobs.

The rest of the card features a six-competitor mixed tag team match, pitting Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn and Asya against Eddie Guerrero, Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson. Disco Inferno and Evan Karagias face-off for the Cruiserweight Title, Vampiro wrestles Berlyn and Kimberly Page vs. David Flair round out the card.

Predictions: The Filthy Animals, Disco, Berlyn and Flair.

Remember to keep sending in the Ed-stravaganza suggestions. As always, the above predictions are intended solely for entertainment purposes, not for illegal money wagering.
 

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