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Thursday, January 27, 2000
Houston, Texas
Volume 65, Issue 82

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Titans to play Super Annihilation Sunday

Margaret Mitchell

It's coming! It's almost here! There's not much time left, so you've got to get ready for it! What are you waiting for ... get up off your butt and move it! Super Bowl Sunday is only two days away!

Super Bowl Sunday, like military maneuvers, requires careful planning and preparation. You don't want to end up being the guy left on the short end of the pizza delivery line.

Remember last year when you, along with dozens of other unprepared couch potatoes, learned the real meaning of "supply and demand?" Do you remember missing a good third of the game because you were stuck in line down at Stop-N-Go, waiting to pay $15 for a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon Light (the only beer left in the cooler) and a package of stale pork rinds?

While you can't always depend on the supplies of the local convenience store or the pizza delivery time, one thing that you can always depend on is that the Super Bowl show will exhibit a visual smorgasbord of the unforgettable, no matter how much we try (like the half-time show when Michael Jackson spent the whole time grabbing his crotch on national TV).

Super Bowl Sunday is also the one day that manages to change the way we look at commercials. Under normal circumstances, commercials serve two purposes: 1) They give you a chance to run to the bathroom or grab something out of the fridge; or 2) They hack you off and make you wait forever to see if John really is going to be murdered by the ice pick-wielding girlfriend hiding under the stairs. But on Super Sunday, we can't wait for the commercials to see what new jam Louie the Budweiser lizard has gotten himself into or what else Tabasco sauce can make explode besides mosquitoes.

But the most interesting thing about this year's Super Bowl has to be the teams: St. Louis Rams (formerly L.A. Rams) vs. Tennessee Titans (formerly Houston Oilers). I think this is the first time that two teams kicked out of other cities due to lack of interest have come face to face in football's ultimate game.

We all know the story behind these two teams and the cities that couldn't care less about them because the owners wanted way too much money and brand-new stadiums for the privilege of allowing fans to watch losing teams. Whoopee, and don't let the door slam your backside on the way out.

Back in the days of Luv Ya Blue, Earl Campbell and Bum Phillips, this head-to-head competition nearly happened in Super Bowl XIV when both Houston and L.A. made it to the playoffs. But Houston (as usual) choked when it came down to bringing it home for the Bayou City. L.A. did make it to the big game but was steamrolled by Pittsburgh 31 to 19. So, what we have here is a faceoff by two teams that have never won a Super Bowl (including one that never made it to the party at all).

The question on the minds of many, at least in this city, is why couldn't these bums have pulled this off while they were still here? I mean, no study has ever been released to prove that an increase in the number of luxury boxes makes a team play better or that Dome Dust causes health problems, so what's the deal?

Deep in my soul, I believe that what goes around comes around. And after the crap that Bud Adams pulled with us, I hope that his team gets annihilated by St. Louis 42 to zip, leaving me laughing all the way to the bank -- I'm putting my money on the Rams.

Mitchell, a junior political science major, 
can be reached at smeggie37@compuserve.com.

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