Thursday, September 6, 2001 Volume 67, Issue 11


Fair old men are leaving office

Brandon Moeller

This is the first week of stress in the college cycle. Boy, it's getting thick. Be sure to get a parking permit if you haven't already ... it seems everywhere
I turn in the parking lots, there's rows upon rows of cars marked with yellow envelopes.

It usually signifies a $20 slap on the wrist, but that's a lot of money for us poor students. But paying the fine will give you the satisfaction of knowing
more of your hard-earned money will go to a system that never seems to find enough money to improve itself.

On top of all the homework I have to do, I am depressed even further by the recent multiple resignations of old white men in power.

Most local is Chet Gladchuk, UH's former athletics director. We'll sincerely miss the guy, despite his inability to rebuild the department into a
campus facet that makes money instead of one that drains the evil but necessary resource.

But why hold that against him? We've got swell soccer and softball teams that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for him.

Another powerful Texan is also stepping down. Sen. Phil Gramm, a Texas Republican, announced recently that he is not running for re-election.
Good. Maybe he's internalized all of last year's talk about term limits. This guy has been in the Senate for going on 17 years and was an influential
congressman before that, and he has worked/co-conspired with all the evil hatemongers of recent political history.

In order to get his Senate career started, Gramm had to defeat Democratic nominee Lloyd Doggett in 1984. He turned the election into a bashing of
homosexuality to draw out what he referred to as the "redneck vote:" white conservative "Dixiecrats."

Doggett championed gay rights in a time and place when it was quite common to be killed for loving the "wrong" gender. Gramm mercilessly
attacked Doggett on the issue, and he won big.

But you shouldn't dislike Gramm for what he believes, because he is a man you could easily say doesn't believe in anything except getting his way.
He graduated from Texas A&M with an economics degree, attended mid-1970s Elton John concerts and even began his political career as a

I guess he learned early that it's a lot easier to win in Texas if you make people believe that you're as twisted as they are.

Here's something to smile about: the rumor around the hill is that Gramm's next move may be to replace A&M president Roy Bowen. It's yet another
reason to attend UH.

Two other old white men in power -- Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond, a.k.a. The Geriatric Carolinians, have announced they won't be back next
term either. Thurmond has been in the Senate longer than anyone else in American history -- 46 years. Hell, he's old enough to be President
Bush's dad. He even challenged Truman for the presidency.

Of course, anyone that has served that long can't be all bad. This is where I sit at the computer screen and try to remember some good things these
schmucks have done. Nope, nothing's coming ... feel free to write in if you can remember anything.

Helms will probably be missed more than Thurmond, but only because smokers like the fact they can still buy lethal and very addictive drugs for a
relatively cheap price, and at any hour of the night.

Well, it looks like I've run out of space, which of course was the whole point of this.

Moeller, a junior communication 
major, can be reached at

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