Wednesday, March 20, 2002 Volume 67, Issue 112


 
 









 

It takes two: WWF opts to split in half

Wrestling is Fake

Ed De La Garza

The World Wrestling Federation is coming apart at the seams. Literally.

Linda McMahon appeared on Raw and announced the WWF would be split into two different "brands." One, headed by Ric Flair, will air on
Raw, and the other, led by Vince McMahon, will air on Smackdown. A draft will be held Monday. Only the champions will be available to both
"brands."


Photo courtesy of World Wrestling Federation


After his triumphant return, and after passing the torch on to The Rock at Wrestlemania X-8, Hulk Hogan looks forward to getting the WWF out of its current slump.

The WWF is more than capable of filling the rosters of two distinct promotions — if that's what it chooses to do. If it remains two different
groups that intermingle sparingly, it will be the best thing for wrestling since World Championship Wrestling was able to compete.

There had been some thought about having two or three pay-per-views per year featuring "super-cards," matching up the best stars from each
promotion. But that talk's been going on since the WWF purchased WCW.

It would be nice to see one of the "brands" change its name. It would at least give people the illusion that there's some competition.

It should be interesting to see who people like more when the ratings come in: Ric Flair or Vince McMahon.

'So what'cha gonna do?'

Note: The following was not submitted by Terry Bollea and is in fact the writer taking on the Hulkster's persona. Yes, the writer is insane.

Man, it was too sweet being back at the big show, brother. I heard there were other dudes wrestling, but I'm going to start off by talking about
what's running through everyone's mind right now.

The Hulkster's back and he's making sure bad dudes don't do any evil to no one, brother.

The Rock put up a good fight but one big boot was all it took to take him down and pin him, one, two, th— What? I jobbed to The Rock? I must
still be groggy 'cuz I was sure the biggest pythons in wrestling had made a comeback in that match, brother.

Nah, I'm just messing with ya. I was more than happy to pass the torch to The Rock. He hasn't been in any movies like Mr. Nanny or
Suburban Commando yet, but he's a real icon. He's running with the ball just like I did against Andre. He's gonna be a big star, brother.

Plus, I was promised I'd get to pin Triple H for the title at Survivor Series.

Speaking of Triple H, I was glad to see a real American beat up on that no-good Canadian Bret Hart. Dude's always talking about how he was
the best there ever will be and it's about time someone shut him up. The fact that he dyed his hair blond only proves he was a closet Hulk fan.
But I thought he was taller.

I didn't see the rest of Wrestlemania cuz I was backstage arguing with the book— I mean, I was practicing my match. But I heard that old guy
Ric Flair wrestled.

I'm really excited about teaming up with The Rockster to form the new Mega Powers. I just wish The Rock would treat Miss Elizabeth better. You
can't slap around women in public like that.

The Hulkster won't be around that much longer but I'm only too happy to help out Vince by pulling the WWF out of its slump. All it takes to get the
interest back up is to saturate the market with stuffed dolls, vitamins, Saturday-morning cartoons and steroids. Just kidding about that last one,
dude.
 
 
 

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