Wednesday, April 24, 2002 Volume 67, Issue 136



Columnist gives one final thought

Mary B. Carradine

After writing columns for two years, I always wondered what my final column would be about. In my angry moments, I envisioned my grand exit. A
conservative reader would pick up the newspaper and see the headline above my column: "Jesus was a communist." It would be beautiful. I
would lash out against the capitalistic religion pushers across campus who have e-mailed me over the past two years telling me that I'm
unrealistic and I'm definitely going to hell.

That was the dream for my last column, until this semester.

I will always be thankful for having such a wonderful forum at my disposal during college. Writing has forced me to research hence I've
learned quite a bit about current events, politics and history. The opinion column experience has been an absolute vehicle for my own education.

But more than anything, this forum has taught me to relax because everyone will never agree with me. Over time I've digested that realization
and that's OK.

Whether it be about petty disagreements or large ones, such as the Middle East conflict, I can seethe and sulk myself into a headache, yet it
doesn't matter. Everyone will never agree with me.

Moreover, I could probably count on two hands the number of other people's opinions I've changed through this column. An opinion section will
rarely transform anyone's staunch view into agreement with the writer. At best, opinion columnists will recognize an issue on which some
people may be undecided, and engulf these people with new thoughts that will perhaps sway them to the columnist's side.

However, my column excursions always ran deeper than wanting to argue people down. There have been many times where I sat in my parked
car before beginning to traverse our campus, engine off, music blaring and seat reclined, just thinking about all the things in the world that
absolutely destroy my spirit. Even more, I thought of all the things I can never change because too many people see them a different way. This
sadness would fluctuate back and forth, exchanging its scenery with apathy and angst almost constantly.

An angst-ridden Mary Carradine dreamed of informing you that your Jesus Christ was a communist. And now a matured, peaceful and current
Mary Carradine wants you to believe anything that helps you sleep at night. The linings of your mind are yours to decorate, and I have learned to
decorate mine with a resolve for inner calm.

I may have upset you, and maybe you cursed my good name for that. But ultimately I care. I care too much. You probably do too if you have
resorted to filling an opinion columnist's inbox with e-mails of praise or criticism. But if change ever occurs, we are the people who will
undoubtedly bring it forth. For whatever reason, we have been touched with some version of concern. This concern has absolutely broken me,
and for that I will be forever grateful.

Carradine, a senior computer engineering 
technology major, can be reached at

To contact the Opinon Section Editor, send e-mail to

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