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Volume 68, Issue 109, Wedenesday, March 12, 2003

Opinion

Tired of writing about Iraq

Matthew Caster
Opinion Columnist

Iim tired of writing about the "material breach" of Iraq, the ineptitude and irrelevance of the United Nations and the complete and total cowardice of the French, Germans and Russians. If anyone is not totally convinced of the justness of the cause weire presently engaged in -- freeing Iraq and the entire world from a tyrannical madman -- theyire anti-American and need to move back to whatever Godforsaken country they came from.

As war may be less than a week away, and the conservativesi victory thus assured, I feel I should try to move on to other topics of conversation. Say, for example, the winter break we just finished. Oh sure, the administration says it was "Spring Break," and technically it did happen in the month of March, but come on. How on earth am I supposed to spend my "Spring Break" down on the beach looking at hotties in bathing suits when itis 55 degrees and raining?

Whatis more, why on earth is UHis "Spring Break" always a different week than any other university in the state of Texas? Like many of you, Iive got friends who go to Texas A&M and the University of Texas, and theyire all going on Spring Break this week. Would it have been so difficult to bump ours back a week? Better yet, why canit the administration just give us the next few days off to make up for it?

It really is tough to avoid talking about Iraq. I know ... letis talk about next semesteris tuition increases. Thanks to the state of Texas having a bit of a budget shortfall, tuition at our fine school is set to increase exponentially next year. I really donit think itis such a bad thing. I mean, I guess maybe itill drive away a few people and free up a couple more parking spots or something. Really, I donit care about this at all, because Iim graduating. Tee hee.

Hmm… what else can I write about? Gas prices sure are something these days, arenit they? Youid think the environmentalist hippie liberals would be happy about gas being $1.60 a gallon or more nationwide. Itis the kind of stuff theyive been dreaming about for years, but it seems theyire just grumbling right along with the rest of us.

How about the arrest of al-Qaida bigwig Khalid Sheikh Mohammed on March 1? That was pretty cool, huh? I mean, we not only captured that murderous monster who plotted the attacks that killed 3,000 Americans, but we got all the stuff that came with him, like a laptop computer thatis got all sorts of al-Qaida operatives' cell-phone numbers. I guess we can prank-call them now or something. Heck, even Osama bin Laden may have only a few more weeks of freedom left.

I guess there really is a lot more going on across campus and around the world. I mean, sure, itis easy to write about the Axis of Evil. But sometimes a change of pace is all thatis needed.

However, on the eve of perhaps one of the noblest battles the United States Armed Forces has ever fought, I want to say to all those brave men and women who have chosen to place their mortal bodies between their loved homes and the waris desolation, thank you.

Caster, a senior petroleum engineering major, can be reached at patrioticcatmaster@yahoo.com.
 

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