Hi 84 / Lo 59
|Volume 68, Issue 141,
Friday, April 25, 2003
See how the University scored
Itis that time again -- the end of school is creeping up on students accompanied by the increased workload it takes to push for that much-needed grade. As we walk through our daily routines, we should take advantage of the fact that the semester is ending and weill have a long break.
It is also important to see what weire taking a break from. Instead of evaluating what happened in their lives over the course of the year, individuals should give the University a "final grade" and compare it to last year.
Let's look at the new things at UH. After all, this should be the source of improvement. The Campus Recreation and Wellness Center is a great new toy and gets a big A+. After all, whatis wrong with everyone getting in shape and having a big rock wall?
The UC Satelliteis returned after a really, really, really long hiatus. The fact that itis back overshadows the lack of Steak Escapes and UH racks up another A+.
The last improvement at UH is the resurrected Student Video Network -- A+. For those of you that donit live on campus, SNV broadcasts free movies; itis like bootleg HBO, and who doesnit like free stuff?
But what about the stuff thatis been here for the longest time? The C-stores still retain their F for the year. They just donit seem to be trying. Theyire rarely open and always overpriced. I could probably get away with stealing easily, but that would just raise the prices higher. Corporate America really cares about starving college students.
Unfortunately, the Student Program Board will receive a D+ this year. Although it brought free screenings of <I>8 Mile<P> and other blockbusters to campus, they neglected the usual array of rock, hip-hop and comedy shows. Choppa alone canit make up for the yearlong drought of good bands. Does anyone remember when Jets To Brazil played? What about Poison the Well and New Found Glory?
The library still gets a C- for not being open 24 hours a day on a somewhat regular basis. Iim a college student who actually studies fairly often, and Iid much rather study in a library -- where the books are -- than at the International House Of Pancakes.
The one good surprise was Residential Life and Housing raising its grade to a C- this year. The services appear to have improved since the beginning of the semester. The RLH scored low because of the Internet connection in the dorms. At the beginning of the war, I couldnit check my email, and I still canit download music. Since the meal plan has been drained and I now have to come up with cash for food, how am I supposed to hear music before I buy it? As a musician and a music reviewer for The Daily Cougar, Iim appalled that I should be reduced to buying random CDs.
I heard my friend Adam complaining about his lack of pornography: "Iive been cut off from my porn, and now Iim no longer an American." I think this is unpatriotic. Weive almost been reduced to being French
Away from the odd surprises of the year, the University Center gets a B, as usual.
The Daily Cougar maintains its A+ from last semester because itis the greatest paper on campus its the editor in chief is less than 5 feet tall.
UH recovered from its massive grade point average troubles of last semester. In fact, itis not going to be put on academic probation this year. Itis amazing to see the school passing, and Iim proud it managed it. I was worried there for a second.
Anyway, I hope all of you do well on your finals and have a great summer; I will see you in the fall to continue making fun of the University until it improves.
Persaud, a sophomore computer science major, can be reached via email@example.com.
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