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Volume 68, Issue 151, Wednesday, June 25, 2003


Spammers die, Potter rules

Jim McCormick
Opinion Columnist

Well, I made it up to campus Tuesday to write my column for this week. As I was thinking about what to write about, I decided to check my e-mail. Though a mundane task, I sometimes get my best ideas while deleting spam.

Spammers are the most annoying people on Earth. Not because of their personalities, but because of their profession. They load up the worldis inboxes with useless advertisements with stunning and space-consuming graphics and donit care that few people want their products (or porn, as the case may be).

The ones that annoy me most, though, are those peddling illegal products, such as cable and pay-per-view descramblers that cheap and immoral people use to get the programs that most decent, hard-working people pay good money every month for. I think Iive had at least 10 e-mails offering these services.

Almost as annoying are the people trying to get me to re-finance a house that I donit own. My 19th birthday is Thursday and I have no clue as to what I want. Do you think I own a house? I didnit think so. Please stop sending me offers. And I donit care about your digital pen camera. The only camera I want is not going to come to me from a spammer, as it is a professional-quality digital camera. So Iim really not interested.

Frankly, spamming should be a capital offense. Yep. You heard me. Execute these people. They donit contribute to society, and as long as they can get to a computer, theyill start right back up. After all, the moneyis too good. They are a threat to our economy (as we have to take time to delete all their junk from our inboxes, and they shut down mail servers).

All right, Iim getting off my high horse now.

In other news, I only spent $50 on books this weekend. But I had to go back to my local Barnes and Noble on Saturday afternoon to do so, as I did not actually conduct the transaction through which I obtained my copy of <I>Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix<P>. I had the person who was second in line (whose mom works with my mom) take care of it for me. I gave her a very big thank-you.

Iive already read the whole thing, and my mom and sister are about to murder me because I keep telling them too much about the plot. Theyire just more than half-finished. But I do recommend the book -- itis really good, and was worth the wait, the mob, the $30 cover price (though I didnit pay a dime for it), and the subsequent sleep cycle problems Iive had from trying to get through it in one sitting, starting at midnight Saturday. Iid go as far as saying that Bilbo Baggins has lost his place at the top of my all-time favorites list.

I have two friends coming back into the country from Europe this week. Holle, who was in my Human Situation class last year, comes back today, and a friend from the Internet came back on Tuesday. I personally canit wait to see Holle, but it may be a while, as Iim skipping town myself Saturday. Donit worry, Iill have an Internet connection, so Iill still be writing in, despite the fact that I wonit be within 1,000 miles of the office.

Now, I must get a haircut. My hair is getting too long for me to manage, and Iim hitting the road soon, so I donit want to have to deal with my hair all that much.

McCormick, a sophomore biology major, can be reached at


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