Hi 90 / Lo 73
|Volume 68, Issue 152,
Monday, June 30, 2003
Letters to the Editor
To each her own
To the editor:
I am writing in response to Samira Zaidi's article, (Take blind dates a bit further, Wednesday, Opinion).
First of all, I should say that I am a huge blind date junkie. The past couple of semesters, there have been several occasions where my sole reason for not going to class was because of shows like 5th Wheel, Blind Date and Ship Mates. I even own a copy of Blind Date Uncensored. So I have absolutely nothing against the idea of two random strangers deciding to take a chance in mystery.
But I am also a Muslim, and have grown up around several arranged marriages.
In your article, you have stated that arranged marriages have a 97 percent success rate. The term you use is "success." I doubt this statistic. Arranged marriages may have a lower divorce rate, I think they are far from being successful.
My grandparents have been married for more than 50 years. This achievement hardly counts as a success. They are constantly arguing and cannot stand to even be in the same room as each other. I have a couple of aunts (one in the states, another in Pakistan) both of them had arranged marriages. Their husbands beat them. And neither of these marriages will ever end in a divorce. Success is most definitely not the right term.
Even when it comes to my own parents, I feel as though my mom could have done better and my dad would have been better off with someone he is more compatible with. All the couples in these scenarios have missed out on a chance for happiness with the arranged marriage.
Let us assume your statistics are correct, and that 97 percent of the marriages don't end in divorce. Would you agree or disagree with me when I say the only reason for this is because getting a divorce is extremely taboo and frowned upon in the Islamic culture?
For the people who do believe in arranged marriages, I think it's safe to say that this group consists of mostly conservative, religious types of men and women who think the idea of divorce is so far fetched and outrageous regardless of how unsuccessful the marriage is.
Marriage is a very huge step. It is permanent. And I know I do not need to make you aware of the risks of marrying someone you do not know ... what if he is too boring, flirty, egotistical or stupid.
Although your parents are keeping your best interest in mind, there is absolutely no way your parents would be able to find everything out about the guy. Even if your parents were to spend a few months with him and his family, it would be impossible. Of course the guy is going to act differently around parents than a girl. It is completely different.
But when it comes down to deciding on whom I want to spend the rest of my life with, I would much rather test the waters myself. But to each her own.
Mariam Jawaid, sophomore,
Letters to the editor are welcome from all members of the UH community and should focus on issues, not personalities. Letters must be typed and must include the author's name, telephone number and affiliation with the University. Anonymous letters will not be published. Letters are subject to editing for clarity, language and space. Letters may be delivered in person to Room 151, Communication; e-mailed to firstname.lastname@example.org ; or faxed to (713) 743-5384.Send comments to email@example.com
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